Chapter 30 Fragile and Frail

Okay so I don't know exactly how heart ops go but here goes....
Enjoy...


It doesn't take me long to locate mum in the car park, she's the only one flapping about with a screaming child in her arms!
"Thank God your here! She won't stop screaming!" Mum thrusts the little pink bundle into my arms. I look down at her, she's surprisingly cute considering her possible parentage. She has a face like a porcelain doll, a pale creamy complexion and big green eyes. She has soft curly blonde hair. She lies in my my arms and stares up at me, still whimpering.
"Shush, shush, little one." I gently rock her as I speak. "Rock-a-bye baby on the tree top, when the wind blows, the cradle will rock, when the bough breaks, the cradle will fall, down will come baby, cradle and all." I sing as I rock and her eyes flutter closed on the last line.
"There!" Mum sounds triumphant. I look round at her and she's standing beside a pram. " I watched Grace struggle for ten minutes trying to put that together, and I did it in two!" I glower at her, she is so proud of herself she ignores me. She wheels the pram over to me. I give it a couple of bounces to make sure it's steady before gently placing Scarlett inside.
"Does she have a blanket and stuff, you know, nappies and bottles?"
"Of course she does" she pulls a big pink frilly bag, that matches the pram from the backseat and attaches it to the handle of the pram. I walk to the drivers door and pull the keys out the ignition and lock the car.
We walk quickly towards the hospital entrance mum making me push the pram.
"Oh it'll not be long till I'm a nana will it honey? Your a natural, you get that from me you know, I'd have had lots of kids you know, if I could have... I can't complain though if only I'd been younger when I'd met your father....." Oh God not this again
"I know mum, I know. We need to find Grace just now, and Carrick. I hope he's okay"
"I'll go to the desk and ask you keep the baby quiet, will you?"
"Okay mum" I stand shuffling the pram backwards and forwards, making phishing sounds at the sleeping infant. People stop and look in the pram and tell me how lovely she is. I politely smile it's none of their business to know anything about her so I stay quiet and wait for mum. After what feels like forever she comes over and leads me through the corridors. Coronary Care Unit is emblazoned on the door.
"Ana! Over here" Elliot calls loud enough that I think the whole world heard him.
"Well done you woke the bloody baby" I snip at him. Scarlett lets out a loud wail.
I wheel the pram into the waiting room, change her nappy nappy she screams and and then I gently lift her into my arms and feed her. She quietens down as soon as the teat is in her mouth. I rock her gently and hum to her as she feeds. When she's done I lift her onto my shoulder to wind her. I rub her tiny back until she winds. I settle her back in my arms and rock her to sleep, when her eyes close I place her back into the pram. I suddenly notice the silence in the room and look up to see five pairs of eyes staring at me.
"What?"
"You are amazing, how'd you know what it wanted?"
"Scarlett is a baby Elliot! Babies do three things, eat, sleep and poop! It's not rocket science"
"Don't touch it again!" He growls from the corner, his gray eyes hard and cold like granite. I visibly shudder.
"So we let it cry next time then bro?"
"Kate can touch it"
"Christian, your being ridiculous! I'm more than capable of doing this, and mum's here. You all need to be with Carrick right now, he needs his family round him."
"Ana! Don't push me on this! Stay away from that" he points at the pram.
"Fine! I don't see why your so bothered! You don't even know for sure it's Mia's!" I move away to beside Christian. I can hear the wee one fussing in the pram. I go against my every urge and sit in my seat. "Kate, the baby is about to cry" she looks at me like I'm mad.
"Its just lying there I'm sure it's fine." Kate is not into babies, not that I am or anything, but she hates them. She has avoided any of our friends that have kids, whereas I was always asked to babysit. Kate just hasn't found her inner mothering instinct, she loves her uni course, (she went for the part time course to allow her to travel and see the world) and wants a career first. I did want that but now I've found Christian, well you know, I want him and all his baggage.
The fussing is getting louder, I look over at Mum but she has her head buried in a trash magazine from two years ago. Ethan has fallen asleep in the corner, so he'll not help her.
"Will someone see to the baby!" I know she is about to scream. Christian shifts uncomfortably beside me. I think the baby's fusing is distressing him.
"Fine just go and shut it up!" He says. I move over to the pram and she is wide awake and smelling foul! I change her nappy and pick her up. She settles in my arms. I go back and sit beside Christian, he looks at me like I've got the bubonic plague. I ignore him and sit down. Christian lays is head on my shoulder as he takes a look at the baby in my arms. Scarlett looks up at him her eyes taking in everything. He sighs
"How could someone so poisonous create something so beautiful." He whispers to me.
"Mia said Maria had a baby Christian. She said it might be yours. I didn't know whether to tell you or not but you have a right to know." He looks at me contemplating what I've just said before jumping out his seat and stalking off out the room.
"Taylor is looking into it but I'm almost certain it isn't true. I was always careful and she was on the pill I watched her take it every day I was with her!" His phone rings and he rushes out the room again. He's back a few minutes later with Grace.
"He's stable" she says before collapsing into a chair.
"Will he be okay mom?"
"He's away having angioplasty, to break the clots and widen his arteries and possibly have stents placed." She looks like she has aged ten years in ten minutes.
Mum moves over beside her and gives her a hug.
"Where's Scarlett?" She asks panicked.
"I've got her." She looks at the sleeping infant in my arms
"She's asleep?"
"Yeah she's been as good as gold" I move to hand her back to Grace. She holds her close to her chest and breathes in her smell. I move back to beside Christian and she begins to fuss. Grace tries to calm her but she squawks louder. She puts her in the pram to change her nappy, but it doesn't work. She settles her in her arms with a bottle of milk and she refuses to take it screaming louder. Grace is almost in tears.
"Ana! Go and take the baby" he practically shouts at me. I sit looking at him he jumps up and takes the baby from his mother then places her in my arms. She calms down a bit as I rock her. Christian thrusts the bottle into my hand, I put it in her mouth and she drinks greedily. Grace looks stunned.
"How did you do that? She screams whenever she's awake awaken haven't slept for a month! Only Mia could get her to settle!" I shrug.
"Mom is she definitely Mia's baby?"
"I think so son. She just walked in with her one day and handed her to me. She said she'd had a baby and she wanted to put her up for adoption. I took one look and couldn't let her go, we have been trying to convince Mia to let us keep her ever since but she wants her in a foreign adoption scheme so that she will never come looking, was how she put it. Dad has the signed paperwork but we haven't filed it, I can't seem to let her go...." She tails off.
"I want her" my head spins round and my jaw practically bounces off the floor. "I spoke to Ray and we will even move to Seattle if that's what it takes. I couldn't have anymore children after Ana Grace. I was thirty two when she was born, there were complications and I had to have a hysterectomy. I know I'm fifty three but Ray and I have been approved and waiting for a child for years. We would keep you involved as much as you want. Please promise me you'll think about it!." I can feel the tears slipping down my face, she'd always told me that she had an early menopause. I stand up and move over to mum. I place Scarlett in the pram before diving into my mother's arms.
"Mum! Why didn't you tell me any of this?"
"Baby girl, I had you I never wanted you to think you weren't enough! Dad and I have been waiting for a baby for ten years now, we were told our chances were slim considering our ages..." at that moment a doctor come into the room
"Dr Trevelyn?" Grace stands, passing the baby to mum.
"Yes, how is my husband?"
"We placed two stents but he has a weakened valve, he will be with us for a while, he will need valve replacement surgery."
"When are you operating?"
"As soon as he is strong enough, his heart needs time to recover from the heart attacks and the angioplasty. We are hoping to hold off until next week, but we are prepared to do it sooner if it becomes necessary."
"Mom? What does that mean?" Elliot and Christian look scared.
"Your father is critically ill, his heart is not strong enough to withstand the surgery he needs right now so we have to start him on medication to control his blood pressure and bring down his cholesterol levels. The next forty-eight hours are critical."
"Thank you Dr James"
"He can have visitors, five minutes only though! No babies allowed on the ward, I'm sorry." He looks apologetically at Mum. Then he turns and leaves.
"I'll stay here with wee Scarlett, you should all go and see Carrick, tell him I said hi."
"I'll stay here with Carla and Scarlett too." Ethan looks at the floor. There is something odd going on with him, I just can't put my finger on it.
Christian grabs my hand and we follow Grace out the door, mum nods at me letting me know she'll be fine I smile back at her. Elliot and Kate are behind us, they have been acting weird too, sitting huddled in a corner with Ethan since we arrived... I must slip into that weird 'the lights are on but nobody's home' mind set as I walk straight into a door frame frame and end up in Christian's arms just before I hit the deck!
"We really should stop meeting like this Miss Steele!" He smiles at me. I reach up and use his muscular chest to lean on to get up before I wrap my arms around his neck and place a soft gentle kiss on his lips.
"Thank you for saving me Mr Grey."
"Come on your holding up the queue" Kate mutters. Christian strides up to the wall dispenser and covers his hands in the slimy gel, I'm next even though my hands are clean from me washing myself you after touching the baby. Kate goes next then Elliot. We are all handed yellow gowns to cover our clothing.
We file into the room. It's dominated by monitors all round a huge bed. Carrick looks small and frail, hooked up to all these machines. His normally handsome, for an older guy, face is obscured by an oxygen mask his skin is a pale shade of gray and his normally sparkling eyes seem dull and lifeless. He has drips in both arms pouring stuff into his veins. Grace steps up beside him and takes his hand.
"I thought I'd lost you darling" she whispers. They stare deeply into each other's eyes.
"Never" he croaks out. Graces tears spill over her eyelids and down her cheeks.
I feel like I'm intruding on a really intimate moment. I look over at Kate and catch her eye, I can tell she feels the same. I can't help but turn back towards them.
"Hey dad" Elliot says gently stepping up to his other side, Kate shuffling up behind him awkwardly. Carrick eyes swing round to his son he gives a slight nod.
"I hope your feeling better soon Mr Grey" Kate says. Christian steps up beside his mum and places his hand on top of theirs.
"I'm sorry dad" he whispers, tears stream unchecked down his beautiful face. A nurse comes in and asks us to leave. Elliot runs out followed by Kate. Grace bends down and places  a gentle kiss on his head before Christian steps back taking her arm and leading her away I go to follow but change my mind. I step up
"I'm really sorry for everything I've done."
"I need you to look after him for me Ana"
"I will, until the day I die. I love him"
He smiles. I pat his hand and step away just as I do one of the alarms sounds at the side of the bed.
"Get out now!" I'm shoved out the room as I see a bunch of doctors burst in and start CPR on Carrick. Grace Christian and I stand behind the glass partition as they fight to bring him back. Our faces all frozen in  a similar look of horror. A nurse approaches us and forces us to move back into the waiting room. Elliot and Kate aren't here and mum says Ethan is away to get some coffees and teas. Mum is lying on he floor playing with the baby.
"What's wrong?"
"My dad is being resuscitated and your playing with baby toys!" He snaps
"Don't talk to her like that Christian! I know your worried about Carrick but that's my mum" I can feel my fists clenching, he better watch his step!
"Why is she even here, why are you here Ana, morbid curiosity?"
"CHRISTIAN TREVELYN GREY! Behave yourself or leave! My husband is dying through there and you want to pick a fight? Go and do it somewhere else, I don't need your drama right now!" Wow! I didn't think mild mannered Grace had it in her! I back away from him. Baby Scarlett picks up on the tension and starts to wail. Mum picks her up and places her in the pram.
"I'll take the little one for a walk to give you some peace"
"Thank you Carla" mum scoots out out with the pram.
I sit at one side of the room beside Grace grace and Christian sits sulking over the other sides.
"Dr Trevelyn I need you to sign this, we need to operate now, we can't wait."
"Bypass? And valve replacement?"
"Yes, he's being preped for bypass as we speak. His heart can't take another attack. We only just got him back"
"Fine, I want to scrub in"
"That's not a good idea!"
"I don't care, I want to be there"
"You can be in the viewing gallery, and that's all. I need to get back to Mr Grey now"
Grace follows him they talk quickly in doctor speak to each other. I look at Christian, he refuses to look at me. I pull my phone out my pocket, scroll through till I come to Kate's number. I dial her.
"Ana? What's wrong?"
"Where the fuck are you!" I pace the floor as I speak.
"Elliot doesn't like hospitals, so we are at his place" she's gone home for a shag! I can't believe her sometimes!
"Carrick has been rushed back into surgery get your backsides in here. NOW!" I order.
"Shit, we'll be there ASAP honey, love you, bye"
"Bye"
I sit down next to Christian. I reach over and take his hand and hold it in mine. Words are inconsequential right now. He needs support support and I promised Carrick that I'd look after him and I intend to keep that promise.
"Taylor will take your mum and the baby back to Bellevue. They shouldn't be here, this isn't a good environment for an infant and I might end up saying something worse to your mother"
"My mum is harder than she looks! She will know you are upset, your dad is really ill...."
He grabs me and pulls my lips quickly to his, his already raw emotions sparking  carnal hunger in him. I kiss back greedily taking all he is giving me. He thrusts his tongue into my mouth, I suck on it gently making his eyes flare with unbridled desire. He pulls me onto his lap and pulls my top off, he rips my bra from my body and sucks each nipple in turn
"Oh, god!l I moan. His head snaps up.
"No baby he has nothing to do with it it's all me!"
"Shut up and don't stop again!" I chastise thrusting my now burning nipple back in his scorching mouth. His hands roam frantically over my body and fist in my hair, I've never felt him be so caught up in the moment before. He stands me up and pulls down my jeans and my knickers.
"No need for these" he puts them in his pocket after taking a long sniff. His eyes glint mischeviosly.
I know we shouldn't be doing this but, it's making him forget, for now, maybe this is the distraction he needs?
He goes me to the floor roughly before dropping his trousers and boxers. His hand circles my clit making me cry out. He thrusts in hard and fast, I can feel my back scraping over the carpet, it burns but somehow adds to my excited state. His thrusts become slower and deeper, I know he's nearly there, so am I. My body reaching up meeting him thrust for thrust until I can feel him. He is beginning to erupt inside me, my own orgasm detonates around him him I feel every ripple of pleasure coursing through my veins, burning them from the inside out, it is the most earth shattering orgasm I've had yet! He gently withdraws and hands me back my clothes we are both fully clothed and Sutton back in our seats when he breaks down.
"I need him to be okay, he was always there for me, even when I got kicked out of school, the first time I got caught trying to steal a car, after Maria, you know..."
"Yeah I know" I stroke his back with one hand and his cheek with the other. His eyes are flowing again
"I want him here for the good stuff to Ana, he needs to see our wedding, if you ever agree, he needs to see our children"
"If we have any, I'm too young just now honey"
"I know, I just want dad to be here. I need him to know I'm okay."
"Baby he knows your getting there, I'm sure it'll be okay"
"I'm not. I think my dad is gonna die! I'm not ready for that"
"Talk like this isn't helping anyone! You need to be positive baby, he will be depending on you and Elliot to be strong!" I'm just about to launch into an impassioned plea when Taylor knocks and enters.
"Sir Mrs Steele is at Bellevue. Ryan and Prescott are with her and the child."
"Thank you Taylor." He turns to leave
"Taylor?"
"Yes ma'am?"
"Could you please get Mr Grey something to eat?"
"Of course ma'am"
"Thanks." He politely nods and leaves leaves the room.
Christian coories up in my arms and I feel him getting heavier. I look down at his face, the worry etched onto his brow, and see he is asleep. Now it's just a waiting game.